Eggcetera

Science fiction writers and theoretical physicists explore anti-gravity and anti-matter whilst I just explore anti-humor – poor exploring at that. I would like to formulate another theory: that of anti-sore. It would be a discovery that would benefit mankind to a greater degree than either of the two or three previously mentioned hypotheses. Akin...
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Many inhabitants of this fine planet spend far more time on their hair than on their inner emotions. Get over it. Toss it into the smoldering pit of uselessness. Hair is just a bunch of lifeless cells strung together in strands, you fools! Genuinely as useless as a rock on a fencepost in the...
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I have mentally industrious plans to invent a new breed of car. Some friends say I’m a dreamer – well, not really friends, just acquaintances – depends who you ask. It won’t be your common car. It will not be the Second Coming of the Edsel, but rather the most purchased and talked about...
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When an acquaintance tells me I can rely on him, I have been conditioned to take it lightly. Experience has taught me we are in an era of unreliability. Take politicians, for example. It’s more likely they’ll break that grandiose promise as keep it. For a while there I became far too cynical. Now...
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I remember how I despised malls in my last immediate lifetime. In fact, I think I died there. I either fell off an indoor roller coaster or died from food poisoning from the food kiosks I was addicted to. That stuff was pure poison, functional only to satiate that desire of hunger inhabiting a...
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The woman had the sourest temperament any sane being could imagine: condescending, wrathful, bitter, unforgiving, sharp-tongued and just plain unpleasant. She was the epitome of darkness, unfit for habitation on the fire planet. All fragments of humanity had long ago dissipated. She was the witch who haunted childhood dreams. Daydreams too. There were no...
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If I truly desired something special, I’d vote for identifiable human remains that I find in landscaping material, fill. In urban settings fill is more appealing because it has a history to it, other than years of nothingness buried under more years of nothingness, which would be the case from rural fill. The contractor...
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Growing up on rock and roll meant you were oblivious to other genres, ceptin’ blues. It’s not that you actually were, but in order to gain prestige within the peers, you certainly had to make it appear that way, playing the role of great pretender. When the car radio came on, previously set by...
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Adolescent paranoia is everyone’s birthright. Mine had three distinct groups, each unique in ethnocentricity. There were the town kids, the camp (military base) kids, and the farm kids. Each group was wary of the other two. Stereotypes ran rampant, mostly spot on accurate… of course. The farm children were perceived as simpletons by the...
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In March, the Alberta Lottery Fund Art Gallery celebrates kids. The gallery will be filled with art work created by kids aged 6 to 12. The artists that have their work featured in the gallery have all taken the Kids Can Draw class taught by local artist and photographer, Colleen Sillito. Colleen remembers, “as a child my grandma...
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