Flimsy Whimsy: Holy
‚ÄúHoly smokes!‚ÄĚ is the only ‚Äėholy‚Äô idiom that indicates knowledge to me. And I don‚Äôt mean incense. I am not a religious man. Please don‚Äôt infer that I hate religion or devout people by this. I do not want to infuriate or cause emotional disturbance of any kind in my human brethren. You are welcome to your sects, utterances of devotion, and congregations of brotherhood. If it works wear it. On your sleeve if you must. The others just don‚Äôt move my brain, even a smidgen. Admittedly my brain may be stubborn, resistant to change by anything other than seduction promises. Even that‚Äôs becoming rarer with age.
A cow is holy for the Hindus. So are a lot of other things, but you don‚Äôt express amazement with ‚ÄúHoly mountain!‚ÄĚ or ‚ÄúHoly river!‚ÄĚ I would venture to guess that Hindus don‚Äôt ever use ‚ÄėHoly cow!‚ÄĚ
‚ÄúHoly mackerel!‚ÄĚ and ‚ÄúHoly mackinaw!‚ÄĚ come out of that quaint Newfoundland language, and together are debated akin to the overdone chicken and egg argument over which came first. It would seem some lucky fisherman was celebrating his haul and got slurry with speech. Nearby, another was slurry with hearing and one or the other slogan was born. Somehow it lasted. But a fish and a coat don‚Äôt seem particularly teeming with religiosity. Not to me.
Then there‚Äôs ‚ÄúHoly Moses!‚ÄĚ But why Moses? There are several more biblical persons that could easily be introduced by that sanctified adjective. Why not ‚ÄúHoly Paul!‚ÄĚ, for instance?
So, being a simple man, I‚Äôll just stick to ‚Äúsmokes‚ÄĚ. When I feel the need to sense the divine I‚Äôll just step outside, have a visit with Nic, the backyard cousin of Paddy O‚ÄôDeck, and calm myself all down so Boss can tolerate my ranting without throwing more sharp stuff that stings.